Novel shifts to first person... NEW AI CHAPTER OUTLINES IN THIS TENSE.

ecided to

try doing the book first person.  I do not know enough about jail, or gangs, or a lot of things that a third person narrator would know.

I made this decision after hearing and seeing in my mind the scene with Bishop and the soldier in the library.  




John, shifting the entire novel into first‑person from the Soldier is one of the smartest, cleanest moves you can make. It instantly solves several structural problems:

  • He wouldn’t know everything about the gangs.
  • He wouldn’t know the guards’ secrets.
  • He wouldn’t know the Inter‑Faith Council’s inner workings.
  • He wouldn’t know the politics of the prison.
  • He wouldn’t know why the guards suddenly want him.

And that ignorance becomes the engine of the story.

Below is how the shift changes the narrative, the chapter structure, and the emotional arc — without breaking anything you’ve built.

📘 HOW THE FIRST‑PERSON SHIFT WORKS

1. The Soldier is an observer, not an insider

He’s been in the prison for years, but he’s not a gang member, not a shot‑caller, not a religious leader. He’s a quiet guy who:

  • keeps his head down
  • buys things occasionally
  • doesn’t cause trouble
  • is respected because he minds his business
  • is protected because he’s a good customer and not a threat

He knows some things about the gangs — the surface stuff — but not the deep politics.

This makes him the perfect narrator.

2. The reader learns the prison the same way he does

He’s not omniscient.
He’s not plugged in.
He’s not a leader — not yet.

So when the guards call him “General,” it shocks him as much as it shocks the inmates.

And the reader learns the truth at the same moment he does.

That’s powerful.

3. His voice becomes the emotional spine

He’s not a talker.
He’s not a preacher.
He’s not a philosopher.

He’s a man who has seen too much and says too little.

His narration becomes:

  • blunt
  • observational
  • quietly emotional
  • full of things he won’t say out loud
  • full of things he notices but doesn’t judge

This gives the book a grounded, human tone.

📘 HOW THE FIRST‑PERSON SHIFT CHANGES THE CHAPTER OUTLINE

Below is the updated outline, now written from the Soldier’s point of view.

ACT I — THE COLLAPSE BEGINS

Chapter 1 — “Something’s Wrong With the Guards”

  • I notice the guards haven’t left their offices.
  • The gangs are restless, but I stay out of it.
  • I see the Inter‑Faith Council watching quietly — Bishop, Tyrell, Eli, Red Eagle — but I don’t know them well.
  • I keep my head down.

Chapter 2 — “They Call Me General”

  • The intercom crackles.
  • The guards ask for the gang leaders… and me.
  • Everyone stares.
  • I walk up to the glass, confused.
  • They call me “General.”
  • The inmates hear it. Everything changes.

Chapter 3 — “Bishop in the Library”

  • I go to the library to breathe.
  • Bishop sits with me.
  • I tell him I don’t know what I’m doing.
  • He says, “You just do.”
  • He tells me about killing at fifteen.
  • The radio murmurs in the background.

Chapter 4 — “Phones Ring All Night”

  • Inmates call their families.
  • Some cry. Some scream. Some go silent.
  • I call no one.
  • The Council helps calm people, but I don’t know what they say.

Chapter 5 — “Families in the Cells”

  • Families arrive.
  • We give up our cells.
  • I sleep on a mat.
  • The gangs enforce peace.
  • I watch the world change around me.

ACT II — THE TWO DAYS OF PEACE

Chapter 6 — “A Strange Kind of Village”

  • Women cook together.
  • Kids play.
  • I see Tyrell protecting the Council.
  • I don’t understand why yet.

Chapter 7 — “The Guard Who Hit His Wife”

  • I hear the cry.
  • I see the guard strike his pregnant wife.
  • Tyrell, Klein, and I take him away.
  • The women comfort her.
  • I don’t ask what happens to him.

Chapter 8 — “Five Miles”

  • The radio finally says something new.
  • Evacuation order.
  • Front line five miles away.
  • Everyone looks at me like I’m supposed to know what to do.

Chapter 9 — “Preparing for the Attack”

  • The gangs and guards argue.
  • Bishop tells me to speak.
  • I don’t want to.
  • I do anyway.

ACT III — THE ATTACK

Chapter 10 — “Smoke on the Horizon”

  • I see the first signs.
  • I help move families deeper inside.

Chapter 11 — “The Walls Shake”

  • The attack begins.
  • I describe only what I see, not the gore.
  • Felix dies. Jorge doesn’t react.

Chapter 12 — “We Hold”

  • We fight together.
  • Samira saves Tyrell.
  • I keep people alive by instinct.

ACT IV — THE ESCAPE AND JOURNEY

Chapter 13 — “The Caravan”

  • We flee.
  • The Council reforms naturally.
  • I sit apart, listening.

Chapter 14 — “Road of Ruin”

  • Hunger. Fear.
  • Bishop grows weaker.
  • I learn more about the gangs by watching them protect families.

Chapter 15 — “Randall Mann”

  • Dominion deserters join us.
  • The Council debates trust.
  • Mara learns her children are alive.

ACT V — THE UNDERGROUND CITY

Chapter 16 — “Down Below”

  • I lead the infiltration.
  • The Council stays with the caravan.
  • Eli comforts Mara quietly.

Chapter 17 — “Her Children”

  • We find them alive.
  • I see Mara collapse.

Chapter 18 — “The Device”

  • I reach the detonator.
  • I think of Bishop’s words.
  • I think of the Council’s arguments.
  • I think of the families.

ACT VI — THE ENDING

Chapter 19 — “A Child Laughs”

  • I hear footsteps.
  • A child laughs.
  • My hand slips.

Chapter 20 — “I Can’t Do This”

  • I whisper the final line.
  • I walk away.
  • The city falls without me.
  • The caravan survives.

📘 WHY THIS WORKS

  • The Soldier becomes the lens through which the reader learns the world.
  • His ignorance becomes a strength — it keeps the story grounded.
  • His voice becomes the emotional anchor.
  • His growth becomes the spine of the novel.
  • His final act of mercy becomes inevitable and earned.

John, this is the right move.
It makes the book more intimate, more human, and more powerful.

If you want, I can help you:

  • rewrite the opening paragraph in first person
  • rewrite the library scene in first person
  • adjust the synopsis to match the new POV
  • or help you find the Soldier’s narrative voice

Just tell me where you want to go.

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